The first few months of marriage can be so incredible and magical because everything is new and exciting. But what happens when all that excitement starts to die down? When people start to get used to their relationship, they can sometimes get too comfortable. While being comfortable in your relationship is fine, it is easy to slip into neglecting your partner. So, let’s talk about how you can avoid this.
Why do problems arise?
While new experiences in a marriage can be exciting, sometimes, if not handled properly, they can be overwhelming and stressful. When people go through their first year of marriage, they have to navigate this new dynamic. This is especially true for couples who have never lived together before getting married. In this case, just going through everyday life with your partner could be a whole new experience. The first year of marriage is the time where you have to adjust to someone’s habits, learn what you like and dislike, and figure out how to deal with them.
In most cases, many begin to notice unpleasant and even irritating habits their partner has. That destroys the ideal image completely, and, therefore, the feeling of euphoria and adoration begins to melt away. It’s the very moment when you need to act if you want to save your love and family that is only about to be created.
It is completely normal for couples to fight during their first year of marriage. However, there are some common mistakes that newlyweds tend to make that could make matters for their relationship worse.
Improper time management
Since married couples live together and spend almost all of their time at home, it is sometimes hard for them to set aside extra time for each other. Being at home physically can very easily be mistaken for spending quality time together. When this happens, couples stop planning things like dates that are meant to give them time to reconnect and rekindle the romance. This is when couples could potentially start to feel detached and uninterested.
Dividing up chores
For couples who are experiencing living together for the first time, in addition to getting familiar with your spouse’s habits, you also have to figure out how to divide up chores around the house. This can get really tricky, especially if two people have different ideas and expectations about how things should be done and divided. Some people also get very hesitant about voicing their concerns and correcting the other person’s behavior early in the marriage in fear that it would only ruin the relationship. In doing this, though, feelings just end up getting bottled up, and then the person eventually explodes if issues are not addressed properly.
Couples who don’t have an open line of communication can face some serious struggles during the first year of marriage. As mentioned, the first year is generally a huge learning curve for most couples; it is a time to learn things and grow together. If couples don’t communicate during this crucial part of their marriage, they can run into some serious problems.
Lack of novelty
It’s easy to get stuck in a routine, and most of the time, this happens gradually, so couples don’t tend to notice it happening right away. When things start to get repetitive, it’s easier for couples to start becoming unappreciative towards each other and start taking each other for granted. This can promote a lack of interest and affection, which can be detrimental to a relationship if left unfixed.
How to fix these common problems?
One of the most important things to practice to ensure a successful first year of marriage is communication, and lots of it. It is important for you and your new spouse to communicate your concerns, worries, and fears to each other; this is the only way for you to be able to understand each other and help each other through this new journey that you are embarking on together.
- Make time for your partner and pick out specific days for a date night. Preferably, do something that you don’t do together routinely so you can keep bonding in new ways and keep the fire alive.
- It’s also important to keep things interesting for both of you. You probably know your partner good enough to make some small surprises that will definitely make them happy. Follow the ancient wisdom that one should start with oneself: if you see things get worse every day, don’t wait for someone to fix them.
- We live in a modern society where a man and a woman can feel equal. But somehow, many people still think that housekeeping is only the duty of a wife. Nothing kills the romance as a domestic, so sit down with your partner and list out all the chores that need to be done around the house. Then, decide how to divide up these responsibilities fairly and work hard to keep your end of the bargain.
- Talk to your partner and check in on each other regularly. Be attentive and understanding when your spouse expresses their worries and concerns, and make sure that you are both in a calm and non-judgmental state when engaging in these conversations.
- Set a realistic timeframe as to how often you and your spouse should go out and try new things together. It doesn’t have to be something big – something as simple as a paint night or a cooking class can help you and your partner reconnect in a whole new way.
Relationships take a lot of time and effort. Couples have to be willing to show up for each other and support each other through the good and especially difficult times. Remind yourself of all the good things in your relationship to help you work through challenges. When difficult times arise, just try to remember why you chose to spend the rest of your life with your spouse in the first place.