Breaking up with a partner can be one of the toughest things you ever do. The sudden disconnection from someone that you saw every day and spent a lot of time with will leave you feeling empty, like a shell of your former self. However, there are ways that you can get past it, and surviving the first weeks is the most important part. Here are some ways that you can set yourself up for success during that vital time to get the best possible outcomes.
Let yourself grieve for a certain period of time
After you break up with your romantic partner, you should first allow yourself some time to process the grief. The first week will be overwhelming, and you won’t want to do more than you absolutely have to do to remain functional. Whether you have school or work, you might not want to go to them the following day, and that is perfectly fine and normal. After all, you just suffered a rather serious loss that will take time to work through. During this time, you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do, including talking to friends, having a post-mortem with your partner, or even telling people that are curious about the breakup. Just let yourself get some time away from the breakup.
Do not neglect problems that caused your breakup
Once you have a handle on your life again and you can start to move through the days without being too upset, you can start to look inward and look at what caused the breakup. Sometimes, you will be completely blameless in a breakup, but that’s not often the case. You might have chosen someone that you knew was no good for you. You may have nagged someone over little things that didn’t matter in the long run. You might have some toxic traits that you need to reexamine. You need to identify and solve these personal problems so that they don’t continue to pose a threat to your future happiness.
Get rid of reminders
Part of the ritual of breakups is the cleansing. That means you have to get rid of the stuff that reminds you of your partner. Otherwise, it will stay in your home, and that can only hurt you. Start off by changing the background picture on your phone, changing social media pictures, and tossing away old gifts that have a strong connection to your partner. Not everything has to go, but if you can’t hold the item in your hands without getting upset about it, then it’s a good idea for you to say goodbye to it.
Make a list of good things about you
Once you have cleansed yourself and overcome some of the problems that were holding you back, it’s time for you to get back on your feet. How can you manage this? Well, start by realizing your self-worth and making a list of good things about you. You should go over all your best qualities and actually write them down somewhere. This is a good idea because a lot of people end up leaving a relationship and feel as though they have nothing good to offer their future partners. That perceived and untrue sense of worthlessness can send someone spiraling down even when they thought they were over being left. It can be especially dangerous when you think that you’ve found another person to be with. Let yourself heal and realize that you have plenty to offer, especially because you’ve done some personal work to make yourself into a better person.
Change your environment and spend time with friends
After you have mentally healed, it is time to start putting yourself out there again. At least, you should look forward to being a part of your social groups once again. That means getting out of the house, not being miserable on the couch, and doing things that you find fun. When we talk about doing things that help you spend time with friends, you should try to do healthy things. Some people want to go back to the bars and clubs. That might not be the best idea, but as long as you go out with the mindset about letting yourself have fun with your friends, then all will be well. If you have gotten away from some of your hobbies because of your former relationship, it’s a good idea for you to reinvest some time in them, too. There are all sorts of ways to connect with your friends and get out of your current environment to feel better.
Reach for support to move on
When it comes time to move on to a new stage in your life or a new partner, then you might want to reach out and get some help. Over time, it’s a good idea to find someone that can help you move on, even if it’s not in a romantic sense. Expand your background of friends and spend time working on yourself before going out on dates again. The second way that you can do this is by easing your way back into a relationship. Some people decide to rush out and get a rebound relationship going right away. That might not work out if you’ve just gotten out of an intense relationship. However, people who want the chance to start over can find someone they like and build up the relationship piece by piece. One of the best ways to make that happen is to use a dating site as a buffer. That way, you can get used to being in a relationship without the feelings of closeness. Still, some people need to have someone nearby and ready to give them affection, so they feel worthy and loved.
Healing from a broken relationship can take time and effort. By following these steps, you’ll be in a wonderful position to help you move on from the pain that you feel when the initial relationship breaks down. Take your time, and you will survive the most painful weeks after a breakup.