When you’re getting older, you start to view your parents a little differently. The dynamic you had of caretaker and child shifts, and you start to find yourself on equal ground. Developing a good relationship with your parents can leave you emotionally satisfied and help you become a successful parent in your own right. Learn about some ways to become closer to your parents today!
Spend quality time together
It should come as no surprise that the first thing you need to do if you want to have a good relationship with your parents is to spend quality time together. Every parent has a different measure for quality time, though. Some parents want to spend time exploring their hobbies with you, while others want to sit around and watch their favorite television shows. You and your parents have to find some kind of middle ground that allows you to spend time with one another that you enjoy. It’s important that you both like what you’re doing, too. Otherwise, you’re just suffering through some interaction that won’t bond you and won’t make your relationship any stronger today than it was in the past.
Consider their age and mindset
When you’re trying to have a good relationship with your parents, you have to consider both their age and their outlook on life. This is important because their age has given them a lot of experience in life, and those experiences are responsible for creating them as a person. A lot of children fail to think of their parents as experienced people. Instead, they view them as always acting against their kid’s personal self-interest. That’s not the case, though. Try to learn how to approach life from their unique perspective, and it will be easier to understand them. Another thing to remember is that your parents’ mindset toward certain aspects of life has been tempered by time and experience. Asking them to change their personality on a dime to accept new ones is not something they can do with ease. They need time to change and start including new ideas in their conceptualization of the world.
Show respect and don’t tell them how to live their life
Respecting your parents is something that you should do as long as they were successful in raising you. If your parents weren’t abusive or horrible in other ways, then they have earned some respect for raising you into adulthood. There is one specific kind of respect that you need to give them as they get older— do not try to tell them how to live their lives. Some children try to tell their parents where to travel, when to retire, and how to behave once they are older. This is especially true when parents become grandparents; their children want to tell them how to behave. Remember that they raised you, and they did a good job of that. Allow them to indulge your kids and take part in adventures without you chiming in with your worries. Again, children have a bad habit of failing to realize that their parents are individuals and not just parents. They have the right to seek adventure and enjoy life the same as anyone else!
Discuss their concerns
As the relationship between you and your parents continues to change over time, you’ll find that they have unique concerns about your life. Unlike when you were a child, you have to just do what they wanted of you. As an adult, you’re in a position to discuss the concerns they have for you and ask them to explain their reasoning for the advice they provide. The next time they tell you that they would prefer if you took a certain course of action for education, relationships, or work, you should sit them down and have an adult conversation. That means no yelling, screaming, or getting emotional. Ask them to explain their rationale and try to see the reason for it. Of course, no parent gives personal advice all the time, but you should get used to consulting your elders and getting an experienced perspective on life. That will make it easier to reach out to them for advice in other parts of life, too. From parenting, home buying, work, and more, parents have been around the block and know what to expect from life. They’ll be glad to teach you as long as you’re willing to discuss their concerns.
Demonstrate your maturity
The best way to have a good relationship with your parents is by demonstrating your maturity. When you’re in your late teens and early 20s, you will have the desire to strike out on your own and start to figure out who you are. There will be mistakes; in fact, you’ll never stop making them. However, at some points in life, you will have to decide what is right for you and what you want. From time to time, the two things will coincide with each other, but often, you’ll find that you have to sleep for work instead of staying out partying or take a less exciting position in a company. Demonstrating this level of maturity will make it easier for your parents to see you as an adult instead of someone that they need to correct. As a result, you will have the opportunity to communicate with them more honestly. They might even come to you for advice!
Trying to have a perfect relationship with your parents as you get older can be hard. It requires a lot of effort on your part to be seen as a self-sufficient individual instead of someone that needs their hand held by their parents. Still, if you’re willing to spend time with your parents, take heed of their advice, and demonstrate your maturity in significant ways, then you will find that it’s very easy to build a relationship with your parents. Every relationship is going to be different, and you have to find what works best for all of you!